Posted 1 year ago

“Once more into the breach, Dear Friends.”
Adam is back with his poorly thought out, unplanned, unscripted reviews of films he’s just seen.

Marvel at his ability to stumble over words
Be aghast at interruptions from the pet cat
Will he sway your opinion?? …probably not.

This time he watches “The Thing” Prequel, was he impressed by it’s visuals and impressive storytelling? …nah.

Posted 1 year ago
GREEN LANTERN (and all the other corps) RULE! ^_^
ask-jolteon-deactivated20120121 asked

Green Lantern, does indeed (as you said) RULE!! *Raises power ring to the air*

Posted 2 years ago

Review Retrospect: The Tiffany Aching Series (or “The Wee Free Men”, “A Hat Full of Sky”, “Wintersmith” & “I Shall Wear Midnight”) By Terry Pratchett

Imagine a turtle swimming through the infinite of space, on this turtles shell stand 4 elephants of equally enormous size (but smaller then the turtle… that’s just physics), on the shoulders of these elephants lies a world as large as ours, but as flat as a pancake… this is the Discworld.

A world where magic exists but wizards and witches are smart enough not to use it unless necessary, a world where every story is true and most likely kill you, a world where Trolls rub shoulders with humans who rub shoulders with dwarves (metaphorically speaking), a word where Death exists as a 7 foot tall skeleton in a black robe who has a fondness for kittens and rides a horse called Binky.

It is a world created by Terry Pratchett, and I’ve been living there for almost 20 years now… again, metaphorically speaking.

I’ve gushed over how Sir Terry, and his books, has influenced my life in a former post, so I won’t get into that here. What I will get into however, is why it took me the better part of 8 years to read his Tiffany Aching books.

As I’ve said, I love the Discworld, it is my favourite fictional plane of existence and I’ve read pretty much everything about it… so why didn’t I read the Tiffany Aching books every time they came out? Well, the Tiff books are classed under the “Discworld Story for Younger Readers” section of the series; yes, I let the fact that I wasn’t a “Young Reader” influence me, it almost stopped me from reading these fabulous books, I basically felt that sir Terry was selling himself short with these stories, that he was pandering to the youth market, “I started with the normal series, why should anyone else be different?” was my excuse. And so, for 8 long years, I avoided them… until my crazy compulsion to complete a collection (alteration FTW) drove me to read them.

And I’m glad I did.

The Tiffany Aching series is as just as much as part of the overall series as Mort, or Interesting Time or Men at Arms are, it is a rich series full of brilliant and compelling new characters (and some cameos by old favourites), interesting plots, a far reaching story ark, and beautiful character growth.

I was wrong to ignore them for so long, and I hope this retrospect will atone for my sins…

               

The Wee Free Men

An experienced witch named Miss Tick and her toad arrive on the chalk. She feels that something is not right, so she decides to find out what’s going on. Her intuition is right. The Queen of the Elves has made another attempt at invading the Discworld, this time by stealing children and infesting dreams.

With the help of the Wee Free Men, the Nac Mac Feegle, nine-year-old Tiffany Aching finds out that her grandmother used to be the witch of the Chalklands, and that she has inherited the trade. When her baby brother is stolen, Tiffany and the Nac Mac Feegle enter the elves’ world to steal him back.

(Plot synopsis taken from Wikipedia, because they’re better at it then I am)

This was a good starting point for the series. It introduced us to Tiffany and immediately set her up as the resourceful, brave, smart beyond her years protagonist that she grew into, it created the imagery of the Chalklands as a no nonsense farmers village, where people most often grow older in their heads but still look young on the outside. It planted the seed that grew the myth of Granny Aching (a witch in everything but the pointy black hat), and the Nac Mac Feegle, a group of pictsies (not Pixies, unless you want your head stoved in, “Crivins”) who have more in common with William Wallace then Tinkerbell.

It also brought back the Queen of the Faries as the antagonist of this book. If you have read ‘Lords and Ladies’, then no introduction is necessary, but for those of you who haven’t (admittedly, that will be most of you), allow me to paint a picture:

Faries are not nice, they are certainly beautiful… but any reality tv show will show you that beauty does not automatically equal nice. They are vicious, mean, narcissistic, egomaniacs who never grew out of the “ME ME ME” stage of their life. If one is being nice to you, it is for their enjoyment only and you better pray that they don’t grow bored. The worst is the Queen, the vainest of the lot, who believes that everything should belong to her because of her status. She steal children and hides them in dreams, she bullies, she tortures and is most definitely cruel… she is also one of the greatest villains on the Discworld, and it’s good to see her back, just so we can hate her again.

The Wee Free Men is an excellent starting point for anyone wanting to get into the Discworld. It’s funny, heart warming in places and sets a good precedent for the rest of the series. If you need to start anywhere, start here.

                

A Hat Full of Sky

A Hat Full of Sky revisits the young witch Tiffany Aching, who is preparing to leave home and learn witchcraft. She takes dislike to her studies, finding the work of the witches to be thankless, dull and pointless and that witches work long hours helping the sick, young or elderly who are not self-sufficient rather then doing actual magic.

A hiver, a mysterious and dangerous creature, enters Tiffany’s mind causing her to abuse her powers of magic. It is explained that the Hiver does not change the way she acts, merely allows her to do what she would do without a conscience. Her fellow witches are worried by Tiffany’s strange behavior and try to bring her back to herself.

With the help of other witches and the Nac Mac Feegle, Tiffany must defeat the Hiver and regain control of herself before it’s too late.

(Portions of this synopsis, again, taken from Wikipedia)

It’s time for Tiffany to learn what it is to be a witch, is it flying by broomstick at night, firing lightning from her fingers, turning people into toads, and all hubble bubble toil and trouble? Hmmmm-no, no it’s not. We discover that being a witch is more like being a nurse that makes house calls to those who can’t look after themselves. It’s about fixing what needs mending, taking responsibility for the people under your charge, and not expecting payment other then what’s expected (old boots or fresh sheets seem to be the common currency). We also learn that whilst magic can be used by witches, the trick is not to use it… trust me, it all makes sense in the book.

Tiffany has also aged in the story, from 9 to 11, she’s starting to grow into her strange new world, and discover that beating the queen of the faries is a piece of cake compared to the rest of the world.

Again, the characters are fantastic, the imagery is amazing, and whilst it’s not as good as Wee Free Men, that does not mean that it’s not a good book, there just doesn’t seem to be that much air or urgency as there was in the previous title. Still, an excellent continuation of the story.

                      

Wintersmith

Tiffany Aching, now 13 years old, is training with the witch Miss Treason. But when she takes Tiffany to witness the secret dark morris - the morris dance (performed wearing black clothes and octiron bells) that welcomes in the winter, Tiffany finds herself drawn into the dance and joins in. She finds herself face to face with the Wintersmith - winter himself - who mistakes her for the Summer Lady. He is enchanted by her, mystified by her presence.

Tiffany must now deal with the personification of the Winter season, fight off his romantic advances and… yeah, save the world.

(Portions of synopsis taken from Wikipedia)

Now we’re getting into the meat of things. Wintersmith can be read in two ways, the first is the simple story of magic and the triumph of good over a technical evil. The second way is the growth of the scared child into adulthood, it’s about accepting mistakes one makes and trying your damnedest to fix it before it all goes wrong… it going wrong being an Ice age in this case. It’s also about unrequited love and how sometimes it’s best to let go before something terrible happens.

This book is basically about life growing up and all the mess in between.

This is a good one, there is major conflict throughout the story but with no antagonist. The Wintersmith is not evil, he can’t be evil, he just is. He’s a personification of a time frame, he’s confused and in love, it’s just unfortunate that him being here can destroy the world.

Again, Tiffany has grown and her skills have grown with her, her understanding of what it means to be a witch has solidified, her trust in others has grown, she has made friends in her respective field and has almost completely grown out of what she was before (and what she was before was pretty bad ass already).

I like this one. Wintersmith is what sold me on this being a good series for the beginner Pratchett fan, it introduces characters to the newbie that are familiar to the veteran Discworld-ite, and tells them in no uncertain words what they are all about (If you don’t become a fan of Nanny Ogg after this, then there’s something wrong with you).

Now things get a little dark…

I Shall Wear Midnight

Tiffany is working as the Chalk’s only witch in a climate of growing suspicion and prejudice: When the local Baron dies of poor health, she is accused of murder. Tiffany travels to Ankh-Morpork to inform the Baron’s heir, Roland, who happens to be in the city with his fiancée Letitia. On the way Tiffany is attacked by the Cunning Man, a frightening figure who has holes where his eyes should be and a hatred of Witches.

Tiffany must overcome the prejudice, convince people she’s not a killer and restore the peoples trust in witches… Oh, and also defeat an evil spirit hell bent on killing her in the process.

(Parts of Synopsis taken from Wikipedia)

Child abuse, Miscarriage, attempted suicide, murders, demon possession, prejudice, hatred for what you don’t understand… this was meant for younger readers, right Terry?

Joking aside, this is probably the best of the series, it’s amazingly dark for what is technically a young readers book, it deals with a strong subject matter amazingly well, and shows what the repercussions of ones actions (both good and bad) can do to you. It’s subject matter is deep and rich, the character growth of Tiffany is amazing and alters what we knew of the girl back when she was just 9 years old, the antagonist, a walking embodiment of hate and distrust, is just bloody spectacular (and once you learn his back story, also a little sad). It’s all just a fantastic end to an already brilliant series.

As I said earlier, the Tiffany aching books are a good kicking off point for anyone wanting to get into the Discworld series, it sets up the world and shows you how funny, spellbinding, charismatic, scary, frightening, beautiful, and genius it can be

Read them, you will never regret it… not for as long as the turtle moves.

Posted 2 years ago

Adam Re-Tries Spring Onion Crisps

The fat guy likes snacks, what a surprise.

I retry a snack that I’ve not had for around 15 years, will I be flooded with joyous memories, or will the experience kill what little childhood I have left?

Follow this link if the above video doesn’t show.

Posted 2 years ago

Prepare yourself to be punched in the face by 5 tons of AWESOME!

Posted 2 years ago

2,4,6,8, TUMBLR IS DOING GRE- wait, no… “stop being crap” is the general message I’m trying to put across here.

Posted 2 years ago

So, How long until we can kill and eat it?

(For full dramatic effect, please play the following YouTube link in a separate window or tab. Thank You.)

You know what I love about living in the future? …Hey, it is SO the future, we have what basically amount to Super-Computers that can fit in the palm of our hand, we can communicate to anyone, anywhere, at any time, we can take a video of something with our mobile-phones and have someone 10000 miles away watch it in real-time, we can predict natural disasters before they happen (most of the time) and we can fit entire libraries onto something no heavier then a penny. It’s time to wake up and face the music (that you downloaded, after you had your phone listen to it to determine who the song was by), we live in the future, 500 years ago all this stuff would be considered witchcraft, 100 years ago this stuff would have changed the tide of wars, 10 years ago we were impressed with stuff that did only the fraction of the things we do now, we are in the future ladies and gentlemen…

Now lets spit into the face of God, c’mon it’ll be fun.

I’ll cut to the chase, we’re bringing back the Woolly Mammoth, yes you read that right, we’re bringing back the Woolly Mammoth.

                                                    HOLY SHIT!

An animal that’s been extinct for the last 10000 years is going to be resurrected and put on a come-back tour… they are the Rolling Stones of the Pachyderm family.

Now this brings up a few ethical questions:

a) Do we have the right to bring back an animal that was made extinct thousands of years ago?

b) Should we bring back an animal that was made extinct thousands of years ago?

c) I wonder what Mammoth burger will taste like

and

d) Didn’t these scientists see Jurassic Park? I mean, Jesus Christ.

Personally, I’m all for the bringing back of extinct creatures, it’d be amazing to see something that, by all rights, should not exist. It’d be like an Angel landing in your back-yard and asking to use your toilet, you know that it shouldn’t be there, but you’re still not going to flush.

…that analogy sounded better in my head.

So, I’m all for Mammoths coming back and being huge and hairy… But the second anyone thinks that bringing Raptors back from the great beyond is a good idea, I’m grabbing a rifle and barricading myself in a stainless steal kitchen.

                      

                                               “Clever girl”

Spielberg was right, he was just wrong about the year.

Posted 2 years ago

Won’t Sleep, The Future is Coming

It’s just after 5 in the am and I’m feeling strangely autobiographical, so lets do this thing.

First things first, Merry Christmas for 2010 and happy New year for 2011… I know that it is now half way through the month of January in the year of two-thousand-and-eleven, but shit has been going down lately, so please forgive the lateness.

So, I’ve finally moved out of my first place and have now settled in to a new place, a better place, a place that has restaurants and pubs and mailboxes and corner shops and chipy’s and barbers all in walking distance and I’m not likely to get mugged, stabbed, shot, beaten, molested, killed, conned, raped, spat on, pee’d on, or shouted at where I now am… that wasn’t likely at my old place either, it’s now much less likely.

The move also explains the radio silence I had to go under for the past 2 months, we lacked the proper internet connection and thus I was unable to post any blogs, reviews, skits or anything of interest. “But Adam” you say with a glint in your eye, “You posted some pictures a few weeks back”. Yes, yes I did, my iPhone has a tumblr app that allows me to post things on my blog such as pictures, videos and blogs… but have you ever tired making a blog with a keypad the size of 2 post-it notes sat side by side? It’s not easy i can assure you.

Also in the news, I’m now unemployed *gasp of shock from the audience*. It’s true, I am now part of the unemployed masses, lets just say that I screwed up and stuff happened and things get went wrong and just leave it at that… which sucks because I was looking forward to the new job I was getting at where I worked, ah well cest la vie.

Which brings me to why I’m up so GOD DAMMED LATE! My sleep schedule is pretty messed up (“No Duh” I hear you yell… you have a lot of nerve mister), so I’m trying to make myself over tired so I can sleep easier tomorrow night… or tonight… the next time I go to bed I mean. Hopefully this doesn’t back fire and screw me up.

Anyway, stuff happened that wasn’t of importance to anyone other then myself, and thats it really. I’ve got plans for my next series of reviews plus skits and vlogs about crap no one but me cares about. So until then, KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES!!

…I dunno.

Later

~Adam.

PS: 100th post… REALLY?!!

Posted 2 years ago

Planet Eater (Taken with instagram)

Posted 2 years ago

A pune, or play on words.

I have a powerful need to read all of the Discworld books, all of them from start to finish, from the first page to the last page, because I have just come to the stark realisation that Sir Terry is now on borrowed time and will no longer be able to use that genius imagination of his for much longer… theres a cruel irony, a man who made his living off his imagination, starting to lose it.

Is that Irony? …it’s close enough

Terry Pratchett has been my favourite author for as long as I can remember. His quick wit is always a delight, his well rounded characters are fun to read, and his plots can make you laugh one minute and then gasp in surprise the next. The Discworld is a world where I could lose myself forever, for some people it’s Middle Earth, for others its Hoggwarts… for me it’s the Disc

I wish to walk the streets of Ankh-Morpork, to eat a Sausage in’a Bun from C.M.O.T. Diblers tray, to meet the cynical Commander of the Watch Sir Samuel Vimes, to play THUD! with Vetinari, to be conned by a man named Moist, to travel Hubwards towards Lancre and meet the Witches that keep stories at bay, to travel the Disc, to stand on the back of four Elephants as they in turn stand on the back of a giant turtle swimming through space, and then to finally meet the one everyone meets in the end, to just talk about life with Death and maybe go for one last curry.

With every book I reread, I’ll be able to do all of these and more, with Sir Terry leading the way I shall revisit old friends and become acquainted with new ones… it’d be nice to visit again.